These Heels Are Made To Walk

Al and I drove down to The Historic Town early dawn for work today. After so long I've not been really presenting in Mandarin, I have to do it today. It stresses me out and I was yabbling. But as usual, I managed to pull if off with a big smile. Sweet and nice.

Then we drove around and round The Historic Town...and finally, did I said finally?....Yea, we finally found those red houses - Jonker Street. Wee! We parked at the other side of the river as Al is tired of driving. Instead of driving, we walk. Al was so confident that we should cross the river while I was actually pointing the other side of the direction. As I was too lazy to argue with him, I decided to shut my mouth and follow him. We walked to the other side of the river, into the Jonker Street area and got lost in it. Expected.

I was cursing in my heart when we walk. It was like never ending and I was in my black blazer, skirt, nearly black hoisery and patent heels. The sun was blazing. We were sweating like pigs. Al was trying to talk to make the walk interesting. I wanted to ask him to shut his mouth but it didn't happened because I rather save my saliva for the rest of the walk. Well.. we actually enjoy (trying to look at the possitive side of getting lost) the historic site that we never knew it was there - Hang Jebat's Tomb, mosque (forgot the name) built century ago that look like a chinese temple, more temples, a few funeral parlours.

We were walking for at least for 20 minutes and we eagerly hopped into the first air-condition restaurant that we see. Air-cond! Air-cond! Without hesitation, Al choose a table right in front of the air-conditioning. We ordered our food - western. Why are we having western food in Melaka? Don't ask me. Go figure. After our lunch, the walking journey begin again.... I'm still wondering why are we getting lost in the same place that we went quite frequent.

Ahh have I told you about my little incident this morning? Well, yesterday I bought myself some nice expensive hoisery - 2 pairs for RM49. I was happily putting it on, was actually quite amaze with the texture and it live up to what it claim to be - bodyshaper, soft comfy waistband, with gusset, durable leg & reinforced toe, special finish which means clothes won't cling. When I was about to leave the house, carrying the projector sling bag....I heard a tear 'tune' and I felt something is not right on my right leg. The hoisery was TORN! Gosh! I almost let out a loud cry but I managed to contain it as I do not want to wake anyone up. My new RM25 pair of hoisery! I wore it for about 15 minutes and it's gone! Can't believe it. There goes my money...I was cursing all the way to the office.

Guess what? Tomorrow I'll have another adventure with Al. Fly all the way to the south on a day trip. And, I have to leave the house at 5am to drive all the way to KLIA...alone. Darn.

I'm not wearing hoisery tomorrow.


Till then..

A Rainy Day

I purposely wake up late today. I want my brain to stop thinking. I woke up several times and coax myself to sleep. Thanks to the gloomy weather, I managed to fall asleep again.

The weather suit my mood today. Emo-ing all day. It has been a lazy day until I decided to go out and do my grocery shopping and grab my lunch. It's was late and I haven't eat anything. I was craving for Starbuck too. I felt like treating myself with some junk. I ended up with two bags of junk (overpriced imported potato chips that I don't usually buy, soft drinks, juice, black pepper sausages, TomYam flavour instant noodles, overpriced Ginger Man cookies, chocolate chips, eggs, more chips), my Subway sandwiches and my Starbuck greentea latte. Ahh and guess what? I found my favourite softener! So happy. I wanted to get two of those just in case...but then again one can last me for many months. See? Such little thing can actually put a smile on our face. Not only that, I got a stamp on my Starbuck card. Shhhh... I'm not suppose to get that stamp after I'm given a discount. Hehe!

I head home...munching my lunch with my latte. Emo-ing again. Is it the weather or what? Arghh! Just couldn't stop emo-ing. Went online to read some blogs... downloaded some emo songs. And prepare to go for a memorial service.

It's drizzling. We have to park quite a distant from the house. I thought the memorial service will be a sombre one - family members sobbing, fill with sad faces. But I was wrong. The memorial service was peace, calm and quiet. The pastor was giving a speech. Everyone was listening attentively. It went well. I like this phrase the pastor said..."He will bring sunshine to us tomorrow..." I'm not sure why it caught my attention.

Perhaps I really need the sunshine, especially in my heart. It's been one of those day....

I know this entry suck, I don't really care at this moment..

Let My Mind Wander

I'm not surprised
Not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times
I stop keeping track
Talk myself in, Talk myself out
I get all worked up
And then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to loose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

Mmmmm....

I might have to wait
I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing
And the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possility

Mmmmmm....

And somehow I know that it will all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid i'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
And in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right
And we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

Mmmmm.....

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I'll give more than I get
Than I get than I get than I get

Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And  I promise you kid to give so much more than i get
Yeah I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love love love love love love love....
I just haven't met you yet
Love love love...
I just haven't met you yet

This song caught my attention when I heard it on the radio today. I like what it sing about. It's so hopeful. It reminds me of me...previously. I'm wondering whether there's such a person that will promise those other than me... I wish I can make him work so we can work to work it out. But I've just alight from that train...perhaps I took the wrong train.

 Maybe I haven't met you yet... but as of now, I don't have such hope of meeting you. So I just let my mind wonder off....as far as I can to a secret place that you wouldn't find me.

Life Is Too Short...

Life is too short to hate someone
Life is too short to be sad
Life is too short to whine all day long
Life is too short to be angry and mad all the time
Life is too short to bother with something that doesn't matter
Life is too short for trying to make someone understand things that they refuse to understand
Life is too short for bad coffee?...(damn, I'm thinking of Starbuck again)

And the world will never revolve around our heart......so be it.

Cheers for life is too short!

Pledge For Change

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

The above caption caught my attention when I was flipping through a stack of messy newspaper dated last week. It enlightened me and I find it very true. It's difficult to change a person and our environment. Why not we start with ourselves? There no right time, there's only now or never..

Recently, I encounter various problem at work. Things that has not been improving for many years and it's getting out of hand. Client is outrageous. I have to either bite the bullet or if I'm lucky, I'll be able to dodge it altogether for mistake made by others. I've been verbally and literally abused. Personal attack! It's really demotivating. In one of our departmental meeting, my HOD said that it's part of our job to handle complain and we have to face all these as we are front liner. Yes, but we are also human - very indeed. It's torturing. It has been months and it's getting serious. I don't earn that much to make it up to what I have to endure on a daily basis. My immediate boss is trying very hard to convince me that things will change...give her a little more time, it will be soon. Honestly, I've been waiting for the time and it has not come. I'm tired. I'm numb. And I can't take it anymore..

I don't know when is the day change will finally come. I can't wait for others to change. I have to change.  Change of attitude, change of approach...and if it doesn't work well I guess I have to change my job. I've been praying to God to give me patient. Not the test that I have to go through to become patient. I need to be patient. Or at least bless me with money for Starbuck coffee to calm me down. Damn, I'm addicted to Starbuck.

Change and patient for me. Not only to face the challenges in my daily work.. but I need those two power pills for my personal life. I need to be sober. I need to hold on to what I've decided..I need to face it although it come with great pain. I pledge for change...

Starbuck Saved My Day

Today I'm on high note... stress that is. So high that I've done something unexpected at work. I must confess. I slammed the freaking office phone when the client is still talking. I can't stand her anymore. I tried to sing in my mind, told myself to be patient because she's like that and I should respect elderly. Scolded me again for no reason. I just let her went on and on and on... And after she finished her last sentence, I just slammed down the phone. I'm not sure whether she heard...but my wicked heart wanted her to feel it so much.

That's not all. I scolded one of my client. Most people think that I must be mad...yea, i'm real mad. She pushed me up the wall. And of course, I have my boss backing me up for this. I tried to do it subtly. Things were just not right from the beginning of the day. The things that I have to deal with... my subordinate.

Thank god that I have an appointment down town. Although, I'm late due to some nonsense someone gave me.. but the meeting was good. They like me and I would like to work with them. Nicey. I took the opportunity to calm my mind and think possitive. It works! I felt so much better.

Ahhh... and the best part.

It was a rainy afternoon. After my appointment, I drove back to office, fetch my Starbuck tumbler and head straight to Starbuck around the corner with my England-red-and-grey umbrella. I don't care it's raining cats and dogs. I secretly like the feeling...I felt like I'm in Paris or London again. The chill weather, the rain, the grey sky...ahh! And the coffee! The warm coffee in my Starbuck tumbler. Just feel like heaven for a while.

I miss Paris and London.

Senses is good...

Senses come kicking in a few days ago. It just kick in without warning. Suddenly I felt that I should do what I should do...or shouldn't do. I have been struggling on the same issue for quite some time but I found peace when my senses kicked in. However, I have to admit that there's a small part of me that are still reluctant to listen to my senses. Maybe the devil is talking.. Luring me to the opposite direction. I fought that evil whisper. Still fighting but more certain of which direction that I should be walking towards. I damn know that there's no promise of heaven but still I walk on following my senses hoping it will finally tame my rough sea of heart.

A-Phew-Day

Been travelling for work for the past days and always home past midnight. Today, I woke up reluctantly to be an early bird, chirping to wake up a few VIPs for the company photoshoot so that they can be at the scene on the dot. It was a gloomy morning and I was a bit worry that Mr Sun will be hiding behind thick clouds all day. I shrugged my thought. I told myself that the rain has gone and Mr Sun promise to come out on time for us. True enough, he began to show himself a little. I was excited! But when I reached the scene, it started to drizzle. My oh my.. this isn't happening, I told myself. Again, I threw the thought away and begin to give hope to others - hoping dearly in my heart that the rain will stop. I guess someone up there heard my plea and we managed to take picture of everyone in a few snap. The rest of the shot fall in line with good timing. It's not easy at all to organise a photoshoot with a tight deadline. Well, this is my first time and I'm proud of myself... and of course, my supporting team.