Shit Happens, So What??

Shit happens. I found out something that I knew all along but always, ALWAYS manage to harvest so much excuses for not accepting it.

Yes, I'm in that delusional state for a very long time. Until last night, when my curiosity gets the better of me.... I literally walk to the well, bend over and jump right into it. It was a dark and long ride down there. A lot of things when through my mind on the journey to the pit. My heart literally stop when I hit the bottom.

It was one hell of a fall. I was bruised and it hurts badly. My head was spinning...round and round it went. Restless. However, there was not even a single drop of tears found streaming from my eyes. That BIG slap on my face. All of a sudden I don't know how I suppose to feel anymore. It suddenly become clear...

It was a tough night for me. I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I tried very hard to get all my emotion and my imagination box up, and throw it to a far away land... I even resort to sheep counting. After a couple of hours, my body gets tired and give in finally.

The next morning, I woke-up early. Told myself to leave the box to where I left it, walk away and never look back. I prepared myself to work and put on a great attitude. I have to fake it even though I don't feel like it. Everytime my legs get wobbly, I told myself to stand straight and walk ahead with head held up. Never fall back. Move forward. I stayed focus on my work. Speak as loud as I can....no, it's not for the audience. It's for me. I need to listen to my voice. I need to be sure of myself. I need to listen to that voice that reminds me not to fall back. That's the voice of my sanity... I need it badly.

The day cames to the end. I'm finally inmune to what-ever-the-shit.

It's fucking over.

I'm happy that I've made it.